If I cared about you, I would let you go. I would recognize that I’m not the person who can bring out the best of you. I would see how there’s just hurt involved when you and I get together. As much as I claimed to, I didn’t actually know what love is. I was obsessed and attached to the emotional & biological whiplash from our bodies being together – that’s not love. I wanted you to accept me, and I didn’t fully accept you. I’m sorry.

If I cared about me, I would let you go. I would recognize that I’m the only one responsible to myself for finding a way to heal and become complete. I would see how covering up emptiness with routines and habits that are the shallow semblance of a relationship won’t provide me with what’s missing. I’m going to have to accept myself first. I’ve felt broken, and I’m still mending the wounds from various hurts from the past. A past that I wasn’t altogether comfortable sharing with you. To myself, to whom I was untrue, I’m sorry.

I hope you find what or whoever you’re looking for. I hope that I find myself and stay true to my discoveries. I’m still trying to forgive you and myself. Maybe, one day, we’ll meet again and look at each other without any bitterness, but for today, it’s enough to just put this all away.