when I look back, I remember a lot of moments.

I remember going over lorrys house one night, he’d always have random girls over to go out with, but this time it was bec and Paris and more importantly, you :). you looked amazing. I remember thinking, oh it’s Sam from peer mentor camp… I remember how cool you were, and you were really confident, and I was instantly attracted to you,

I remember our trip to Mandurah with everyone. Such a great weekend, I remember our walk along the beach to that random bonfire, I remember how we ran back to the house after ash and lorry got into a fight with those aboriginals, I remember we were underneath the decking in the dark and I really wanted to smooch you!

I remember the trip to Bali…..I remember my favourite part of the trip, lying next to you. When I look back at all the partying and dancing and drinking, that was still My favourite part…..I remember laying next you and stroking your legs,…. So nervous to make a move, I remember The butterflies!!

I remember driving over that speed hump near Beechboro one night when we were just friends,… We ran into Mr Patel in a carpark and he thought we were a couple,…. It was such a fun night!!! I miss all the laughs.

I remember nudging each other with our bums on various dancefloors, I remember The big bad wolf song, we would sing and pretend to be wolves too lol, I love your playful side!

I remember sipping on those fat frog drinks at Carnegie’s…. People were mad because we were getting closer, we didn’t care though… We would always have so much fun!

I remember staying up late on facebook chat, texting you, talking about everything, I remember The subtle flirting, the eye contact we’d make, I was always so scared to make a move properly even though it was clear we both wanted each other.

I remember how excited I was to see you for my birthday, I remember The candy G string you got me, and I remember how lovely it felt to be spending my birthday with you!……you looked so pretty!!

We went to the generous squire on Murray Street. You looked so nice in that little leather jacket you’d always wear. And I remember your hair resting on your shoulders! We took a photo together and you posted a birthday message on my wall… It was exciting because we both knew our friendship was spiralling into something more.

A week later we all went to the queens. I remember your green dress you wore, that night 3 and a half years ago, you looked so beautiful…..I remember how nervous I was…..you were next to me, in my bed….. And I remember how nice it felt…our heads started edging closer..we were both excited to take our friendship to the next level,

I remember how amazing that first kiss was, I remember how sexy you were, I remember how amazing your body looked and felt as it shined in the light from that stupid cosmic egg lava lamp of mine..lol

I remember dropping you off the next morning at Paris’s house…..and watching you walk across the lawn, your hair was messy and your mascara was smudged, but i still remember thinking,…I am in love with this woman……

I remember sitting on the bench that day at soccer….so distracted by the thought of you, smiling to myself….so excited to see you again,

I remember our first road trip together, down to Margaret River, I remember The nap :), I remember taking that bath and cooling down by putting cold drinks on my forehead!!!
I remember laughing so loud and playing constantly as we barely left the room!!

I remember new years eve…. We were at a lame beach party, but only it wasn’t lame, because how could a night be lame when you’re next to me, I remember kissing you at midnight, and we both decided to leave and go back to my place,…. I remember telling you I Ioved you in the pool that night, I remember how fucking happy I was, I remember how happy you were, I don’t think I’ve ever had a night quite like that!! It was a magical night.

I remember brodies birthday, the October fest dress up party. I remember you drank a lot that night, and you were spewing in a bucket in Paris’s old room! and I remember laying next to you and comforting you, and even though there was a party outside and I have a phobia of spew, the only place I wanted to be at that time was next to you

I remember the speedboat ride in Fremantle, it was Easter and I was meeting some of your extended family..I remember how fun that boat ride was, you were soaked and your dress was seethrough, but you weren’t upset! Most people would’ve sulked or been embarrassed…but you were full of laughter, that’s one of the things I love about you…you’re always so down to earth!!!

I remember Sammy hearns 21st at villa, such a fun night….I remember how we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, so we ended up bailing early and caught a taxi home because we couldn’t resist!!!! I miss our passion and our connection!!!

I remember our first concert.
Birds of Tokyo, it was a wicked night, I loved the band at the time and I remember holding you from behind whilst lanterns was playing….was so nice to have you as my girlfriend and it felt amazing just holding you in the crowd. I always think of that night whenever I hear that song.

I remembered a valentines day picnic in kings Park! We had fondue and strawberries and the view of Perth was so amazing…. I remember how nice it felt to be rugged up under a picnic blanket together……

I remember our flight to Melbourne, we flew in later than anyone else and I was missing a Liverpool training session, I didn’t mind though Becsuse I got to fly to Melbourne with you, it was exciting, we arrived at a ridiculous hour and I remember wheeling our suitcases straight to McDonald’s before checking in, where we got a massive pack of nuggets… We were both easy to please I guess :p

I remember Thailand…..how great it was…. Waking up next you, sharing a massive breakfast, going on adventures….I remember Chasing those fire lamps on the beach that night and laughing and playing in the sand, I remember The selfie stick and how nice it was to take some good photos…. I never took enough photos with you… I wish I took more!

I remember a lot of stuff when I look back, I miss all the little things….I miss your company, I miss talking to everyday, I miss the laughter and the playing, I miss your snort when you laugh, I miss waiting for you to get ready and blow dry your hair, I miss you crunching on your toast in the mornings and your jaw would click, I remember how much it would annoy me when id be sleeping and you’d try to wake me up. I miss how still you would lay when you slept, I miss how you’d let me hold the Ipad, but always end up holding it Because I couldn’t sit still. I miss the cups of tea, the waterbottles and the hospital stories. I miss hearing about your day. I miss calling you and getting your msg bank because you’d always seem to be showering when I’d call. I miss how your eyes would light up when you’d see a cat…. I miss how you’d always know of meals at certain resteraunts and you’d always mention it when we’d drive past a place…I miss the dates, the crappy reality TV. I miss the way you’d wash your face in the shower with that same rhythm everytime. I used to just watch you and smile, it looked so cute and goofy and bubbles would blow out your nose…… You’d always get out of the shower first because I was always wasting time and water. I guess time just stood still when I was with you.

I miss your fashion, your dorky shoes with the bows in them, your polka dotted dresses and your frilly frocks and how could I forget your nanna cardigans, or that cute little shirt with the planets and solar system on it.

I miss the cuddles and the kisses….I miss how silly we’d be, sometimes id try to kiss you properly but you would make silly sloppy noises, it was so much fun!! I miss your butterfly kisses with you eye lashes!! I miss falling asleep next to you and waking up next you you!

I miss life with you,

We were so great together, I hate that I messed it all up.
I’d never do that again.

Losing you has changed me, as I’m sure it has changed you.

It’s hard now only having the memories, I wish we could create more together…

I miss you.