Hey babe..

Still seems so natural to call you that. I know you’ll never see this (my pride won’t allow it) and I know you’ll never reach out to me (your ego is too strong), but I still think about you quite often. Probably daily. I am just so curious as to how you are doing. I was once the person you told every daily detail to and now that life walked out faster than I can blink. I’ll have so many moment when I do something and my first thought is how I’d hope you be proud of me. You still have that power over me. I do things for me, hoping that in some crazy way you’ll notice.

Even with you being far away from me now, I still dream that you have a 6th sense that just knows what I’m up to. That in some bipolar world, you actually miss me. I know that’s not the case though. You up and ran away; out of my life forever. One day we were in love, the next you told me I wasn’t your person anymore. It’s been really hard for me to cut the ties I have to you. You did it over a single text, but it’s taking me a little bit longer. I am happy though. For a long time after we split, that wasn’t the case. You are the first person to ever make me afraid of being alone. I had never had a relationship leave me feeling like that before. It’s terrifying to not be happy by yourself. That’s not the case anymore.

I guess I’m just writing this because I just being able to talk to you. When we split, being your friend was like adding salt to the already deep wounds. Shortly after we split you up and moved away, leaving me to pick up my pieces. Well I did just that, and yet here I am lying in bed thinking of you. Wishing I could tell you all about my day, and pretending like you want to do the same. But that’s the case anymore, is it? Well I’m sorry our bridge is burnt. I as much as I’d like to rebuild it, I don’t see that happening. You’re ego is too thick and my pride is too strong.