I went back and looked over all the different letters I’d written. Damn, I was dumb. Deeply hurt by a lot of things that were going on (not just you), but still dumb. What should I blame?
All the hurt piling up?
The severe lack of sleep? Oh, I wouldn’t sleep for days at a time.
Severe emotional instability? I’d just break down and cry for no reason. Everything was emotionally draining. Everything hurt.
Nah. I was messed up. Life was messed up. Everything was messed up. It’s all so much of a blur, I can’t remember large chunks of it.
Seems you were in a pretty bad spot too. I think you got the worse end of the stick. Health problems, abuse…issues galore. You did better than me though. You kept moving.
I isolated myself. Still am, really. Gained some things, lost even more. Doesn’t matter now.
You didn’t deserve what you got. From me, from life, from everything. I was angry from all the hurt. I said a lot of dumb shit. Hurt people say dumb shit, and do dumb shit. No excuses…should have known better. Getting there. I’m sorry for the whole mess.
Still having trouble sleeping. Been up for over 48 hours now. Fuck it.
Hate me. Feel nothing towards me. Whatever. Keep fighting. You’re a fighter.
Keep fighting.
Keep fighting.