Thank you, R.

Thank you, R.

Thank you, R.

You have taught me more than I ever imagined a single human being ever could. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought our relationship would end the way it did but I know that you going to college while I was still stuck here in college was not something that either of us needed– it was time to let go. But at the time we first found each other, I know for certain that you were exactly what I needed.

So, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for finding me. Thank you for being the constant person I needed and for helping me navigate my teenage life in a way I could never have done without you. Thank you for late night kisses and good morning texts. Thank you for those Saturday afternoon naps and pizza on Sunday nights. Thanks for the WWE moves and all your homework help. Thank you for loving me well and teaching me what it was like to love others well.
I also want to thank you for taking that love away from me; when you didn’t love me well. When you broke me down and split my soul into two. For when you looked over at me in the front seat of your Envoy on that November night, and wiling fully let me go. Thank you for teaching me that nothing lasts forever. That people will leave your life with little no explanation, and won’t look back twice. Thanks for helping me understand what real, traumatizing heartbreak feels like. Thank you for teaching me that Disney movies are a damn lie because not every story ends happily. Thank you for teaching me to let go.
Thank you for teaching me, as you took your loving presence away, that love isn’t something you can fall in and out of. Love is a constant state of being. Losing you didn’t suck all the love out of my body. I am surrounded by loving things; my grandma, flowers, strawberries, laughter with my best friend, my dog. You aren’t the only one I will feel love from. I was embraced in love from my first moments of life. I have been constantly loved by so many people.
Loving you didn’t splinter my heart; you led me to understand how painful growing up can be. Loving you helped me discover parts of myself I didn’t even know existed. I had no idea what it was like to find my sense of home in a person. To share my every thought with another human being and to comprehend how another person feels. You showed me an unexplainable part in my heart that will always be yours. Yes, I believe you were that piece to my puzzle. Each adding more and more clarity to the person I am longing to find in myself. Through each process of putting these puzzle pieces together, I have given myself the gift of understanding that the final piece of my puzzle can only be found in myself.
But, until I find that final piece, I want to thank you for breaking up with me. It was inevitable, even after two brilliant years of carefree and bubbly love, that we would grow apart. Thank you for setting me free and allowing me, through the absence of your love, to find what I am longing for within myself.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Reagan.


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