You texted me last night and we haven’t talked in about a year, about the time we broke up, (minus the awkward happy birthday text from you on my birthday which was also our anniversary), you said “ever going to be able to talk to me again?” I responded with the most stupid thing i could think of “idk i mean we haven’t talked in over a year” i really wanted to say that i haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day we broke up i haven’t been able to get over everything i have done to hurt you and everything you have done to hurt me, to this day i dream of what could’ve been. I am in a better place now emotionally so maybe it would have been different I am more stable and have been having less panic attacks and am less irritable and miserable and I have been clean from self harm for quite some time now. in my head i know we cant be together so i chose to responded in a more cryptic way than what my heart wanted. I wanted you back I wanted to go back to the good times and forget all the bad stuff but i know that cant happen so i have been looking for someone else to fill that void nothing has worked out which isn’t surprising since i’m still in love with you and you’re all i think about. i heard about your bother on Facebook i’m sorry to hear about his death you always told me you were worried about him i really wanted to text you and send my condolences but i didn’t think you wanted to hear from me, and i didn’t really want you to know that i was friends on Facebook with your gf whom i almost dated as well a lot has happened in the year that we have been apart i went back to school and got a promotion and from what i see you finally got to play football i miss you but i realize we were not meant to be