to the girl who first had my heart

investing time in you was never a mistake
loving you was the best thing ever,
all the time spent all the memories we made
nothing could ever compare to that feeling
there would be days that i think about what could have been,
admitting that one can mess up is not the easiest thing
and letting you go seemed like the right thing to do
i caved under the pressure, i couldn’t handle it
and soon after regretted the decision i made,
but i was so afraid of what the people might think of me
and the had a huge impact on the decisions i made
thats why i never said anything,
but know that i have made peace with it
though it was not the easiest thing to do.
watched as someone else made you happy was the hardest part of it all ,
but i have noting but respect for him
till today i am unable to say any bad word about you
as a person and as a girlfriend
coz you are an amazing person, kinda just forgot why i fell involve with you in the
first place..
but I’m happy for you.
and know that i might forget every conversation we ever had
but i will never forget the way you made me feel

to the girl who lead me on just to bring me to a dead end
you broke me, you left me unable to trust again
you broke my will to love again..
not often do i make myself feel venerable
putting myself out there over and over again
and in return the same outcome.. alone ,
now I’m afraid to commit I’m afraid to invest too much time in someone
because I’m afraid of that feeling of being unwanted
i fall easy but i fall hard and when i get back up it changes me every time
it takes a part of me away. never have i been more afraid to love
although i miss the feeling
of just having someone to invest my time in
now unable to do so coz of you
i always knew id find new fears in my life,
but never did i think commitment would be one ,
let alone because of you.
i hold no grudges, i have no resentment towards you,
we all make mistakes and forgiveness i is the only way forward
although we never became what i hoped we would be
at least one of us ended up being happy..
and id always put anyone else feelings before mine
but you have turned me into someone i thought id never be
afraid to get attached, as soon as i get close to someone
i find a way to push them away.
and to every girl i ever pushed away I’m sorry

to the girl i will end up with be patient with me help me
pick up all the broken pieces
don’t leave me no matter what, coz
once you get to know the caring me you’ll have no reason
not to fall for me
coz in my mind if you stick around through all that
and teach me how to love again
i promise to make you the happiest girl, i have such a strong feeling
my relationship with you will be the one that lasts a lifetime