Dear Brandon,
It’s been 5 days since you broke up with me, yet it seems like a million more. I am depressed and overall a little angry. Angry that you didn’t try harder and depressed because I lost the one I truly love. I’ve been trying to immerse myself into the lives of my friends and extra curricular’s, but it’s so hard focusing when my mind constantly reminds me of you. If I see all of our mutual friends, it makes me want to cry because I remember how much fun we had together. I know I wasn’t the best girlfriend, but I really tried. Even now, I’m trying to stay away from boys in hopes you will see that I only want to be with you. You probably think I accused you of talking to other girls during our break and I am guilty of that in some parts, but I truly never believed you would hurt me like that. I see why it hurt you so much when I lied to you about talking to another guy, but I lied because I didn’t want to hurt you more. I just didn’t think we were going to get back together, but then we did. So, I’m sorry again. Sometimes I think I will be okay and other times I’m not sure where my life is going without you. I was hoping we would have a future together and maybe one day move in with each other like we talked about. I was willing to move for you and I know you say that would be bad to move just for you, but honestly it wouldn’t matter because I’d be doing what I love no matter what. I don’t want to sound whiny in any way because I don’t want you to think that I’m spending all my time thinking about you. In all reality, I’m enjoying most of my time out with friends. I don’t know if you realized, but you tied me down in multiple ways. I know you wanted the best for me, but I needed encouragement, not criticism to do the right thing. I still love you will forever. That’s just something I can’t stop doing. You don’t have to worry about me harming myself because I have people around who truly love me and would do anything to make me happy. I feel like I lost much of my support because you were my #1 supporter, but I still have some people who want me to live out my dream. You said you would be here for me, yet you’re so distant and seem like you don’t want anything to do with me. Sometimes when I call, it’s just to talk as friends, not as anything else. I do need my friend back. I thought a week ago this is what I want, that maybe I should be single to figure out what I want. But I take that back I know what I want and that is you. It always has been you. And I’m sorry if that puts you in a bad spot, but deal with it. You will probably lose me as a friend if you don’t talk to me because this silent thing isn’t working at all. Please reach out. I’m always a friend before anything else. I do love you, make sure you know that.
Love, Taunie