My letter goodbye…
You know what I think my mistake was? Loving you more than I loved life itself. I became the girl who cared more about you than myself, the one I promised I would never become. Once I became that girl I knew that loosing you would kill me. I think we fell so quickly because you leaned on me after your ex broke your heart and I leaned on you when I lost my dad. I needed a place where I could escape that pain. You were that place. You helped me forget that pain but you also made it easy for me to talk about that pain I felt after loosing him. I needed that. I needed someone to make me feel steady and grounded. I believe any girl especially myself can fall in love with someone who does that for you. I was loosing everything, including my mind. You made me feel my heart beat again. You gave me the love I needed. That’s why I fell for you.
Then one day I started to find myself. I started to find my way out of the dark. Then I realized I didn’t know who I was without you. I needed to figure that out. I didn’t know how to tell you without having you think I used you. I didn’t , along the way I fell and I fell hard. I really did love you. I just never knew how to be happy alone that’s when I knew I would never truly be happy with anybody else. I knew I had to figure that out. So to do that I needed I had to make us go our own separate ways. I had to let you go and you had to let me go. We both needed to get our life together, because neither of us knew how to be happy alone. You were amazing and the happiness was there just had to handle our life. So I did it I let you go. I remember saying ” When everything is done. When we finally have things figured out then we can come back to one another and see if we were meant to be.” With that we were done.
The only problem was that I should’ve known you couldn’t be alone. By the time I knew it I had my shit together but you had already moved on. You were happy and in love with someone else. I knew I had to let you go. I couldn’t break up you and her then ruin your happiness. I woke up one day and I realized that I had finally let you go. So with that i wish you nothing but the absolute best in life. I want you to be happy and have a lot of love in your life. I want you to find the same peace that I found. I want you to be in the same place I am emotionally, physically, and mentally. I need that for you. I want that for you. Find it, find it in yourself and in your girlfriend.
Goodbye and take care.
My first love