Its been 5 months since I broke things off with you and everywhere I go, I fear that I will see you face to face. We live 5 minutes away from each other and a part of me wants you to see me now that I’ve lost weight and doing better than before so you can see what you’re missing. You left me with no answers. Why her? Why was I not good enough? What does she do that I don’t? But I thought things ended great between me and her. Being petty and exposing the cheater that cried and swears to God that he never slept with another woman, never took her to the same dates, doing the same exact things with her.. was it all fake? Did i not mean shit to you? She told you in your face that she can’t be with someone who can do that..that WE as women cannot be with a man like him. Exchanging social media with my new “friend”, i thought everything was great and just like the movies, we caught the bad guy. Being college students, we all use snapchat and I see her post at YOUR house. I remembered the tv, the plant next to the back door and the bible on the counter. Nothing had changed. After all you put me through, you can still move on so quickly with the same girl you cheated on me with.
I’ve accepted that its over because I don’t want to be with you, and i never will. But at the time, I was very much in love and my entire heart was put into it. We spent all day together, went on road trips like San Diego and San Francisco. But I guess you invited your side chick to those too right? It was just so cruel of you and to never apologize to this day for your mistakes, making me look insecure when i accused you of going behind my back or hiding your phone.Making me feel like I was crazy to think you’d ever cheat. Now I’m scared thinking every guy will make me feel like the only girl in the world..and eventually making me feel worthless.
But it took me a while to realize I’m worth way more than I think. I’m doing better in school, I’ve stopped following your horrible eating habits and gotten in the best shape I’ve ever been. Although I can see you a lot, you’re the one putting your head down with shame and I’m keeping my head held up high.