I had no clue, even though they were all around me everywhere I went. At every turn, Now that my eyes have been forced to see something it totally can’t handle. The pictures in my head seem so real. So vivid as though I could touch the ring I’d find laying around everywhere. Pick it up, without any thought, put it on your night stand. The red flags were screaming… But my belief in you was louder. The one I met at 16, the only guy I ever knew, wasn’t who I thought. 30 years I want to scream it like a mad woman …. THIRTY YEARS !!!! Everything I ever knew was not real, I even called you Superman, it makes my stomach turn.. Being a stay at home mom kept me from the outside world, having social anxiety made it easy to stay naive, you and our three kids were my world.