Ten years. A decade.
Time heals all wounds is bullshit. The only thing that’s happened is the passage of time. Every damn day you’re on my mind. It took a while for me to figure out what to call the pain I’ve felt. I liken it to mourning except it’s worse because death is easy to accept and to my knowledge, you’re not dead yet. I can’t figure out how to turn the feeling off either. I knew I would have a hard time letting go and I knew it would be easier for you to move on, which is why things happened the way it did but in retrospect that was a very ignorant thing to do. If I can make it through year ten, maybe it will be okay. I’ve said that to myself every year though so more time probably is not going to work. Ive wanted to reach out to you, but is reaching out to you for closure the right thing to do? I guess I don’t feel that it should be your responsibility to provide closure. I mean, you’ve moved on, right? It should be enough of a hint that you’ve not reached out to me except I know you wouldn’t initiate no matter what. At this point, what good would it do you to associate yourself with me? None. My reaching out to you would be selfish, and would likely be more of a nuisance to you then anything else. There is no reason that you’d want to hear anything I had to say. I wouldn’t be reaching out because I want a relationship so why? The straight and simple answer is, I want to validate my pain. Once upon a time I fell in love with someone special however I often felt emotionally neglected and alone. After a while I gave up and let others guide me. Instead of facing our issues head on, I ran away. I don’t know if our issues would have been resolved should I had not run but it wasn’t fair to either of us how I handled things. I’m sorry. Should you never hear from me and by some giant coincidence you come across this letter and manage to figure out this was about you….we had many firsts together and maybe that’s why it’s so hard to get you out of my head but I wouldn’t exchange any of that with anyone. You deserve happiness and I hope you are. I will always love the person I knew ten years ago.
4 Comments
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If this is the man that I fell so madly deeply and truly in love with…Shame on you. We could have climed a mountain together with our love. You simply ran away and didn’t bother to look back. I want you to know that I will never ever be the same. The world is wide open and I have a set of different eyes to look through. You can sit back and watch me sore. I will never be that crummy person that you turned me into again. I know that I must change, and have only for the better. Time stands still for No one, and you tried to take that from me…and You almost did. I will forever love the man I married, but the monster you have changed into is not welcome aroand me. I love you enough to let you go find happiness, for that is what all of this was about. When you do, don’t loose it..and fight to keep it. I enjoyed being your wife, but that title has now been taken away by ur hands. Goodbye Jay. I will always keep a spit for u in my heart.
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who is this…
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Sorry Broomhilda and Babygirl….I’m a gal taking about a guy 🙂
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I’ll always love the person I knew ten years ago too. It’s justone of those things. Lots of beginnings but it was a bad ending for us I know. We couldn’t even manage to discuss things. There was never closure. But then that’s just the way it is. Take care xx
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