Dear kìba

I pray to the heaven above your safe right now
And that hes making you happy
We’ve went in different paths
You a singer me a rapper both actually getting somewhere its funny in a sad way
Its only been what 10months
Sad as its felt years
So what i wish i could’ve said is simple

I wish id told you that you looked beautiful in the morning more often
That you were perfect in every text at least once
In every fight i wish id have stopped looked at you and hugged you
Even for a second to tell you no matter what it was i was still here i was never leaving
I wish id said and did so much
Looking from the outside its cold but its not dark its empty
You sit you watch and you learn you cool off almost literally its a fall
You cool off the hate and see all you wanted to say or do and it never seems to stop cooling you off till you freeze where you are then greeted by impact at the bottom of the fall
Right now i have the chance to fix myself in to whatever image
To be a suit and tie man a european bagpacker a punk a rapper hoodlem..
But i know its what i want..
So i became a punk
Like you i sport dyed neon hair
Unlike you i went tattoo and piercing..
I look different to the long haired decrepted gentle man you fell for
You look nothing like the long haired natural nature girl i loved
You were a dream i now get what they mean when they say “i can close my eyes and relive it”
I do so often its like rewinding time
I wish in all those moments to just hold you close look at the sunset pull you closer kiss you and tell you how truly amazing you are to me
But there is a man with you
G
And G is a lil younger more free while i’m still biting off my shackles
And i know ive heard and seen it you are using him to fill our void..
If he does i am happy it takes your mind of me
You deserve it
I miss you
I love you
And ive learned (this goes to anybody reading this letter)
That if you love somebody you support their choice and their right to be happy without you
If she shouted or insulted i would snap with my ego and now..i pause i think and i see it doesnt matter
She was and is hurt deeply
I always hear others say “i got away i’m free! Screw her toxic self!”
But this girl wasnt always..family friends school all tried to kill her
And shes unhappy now
I got out but she didnt so if you love somebody i think in this case its my duty to pull her back and show her that freedom if ever given a second chance
As seeing her so sad breaks me even though i shouldve moved on
She was my million dollar dame and I her trampt to complete the act of a love story
When we flooded the set we lost it all blamed each other and burned with it..
Advice for those reading
Enjoy her
Cherish her
Kiss her i dont care if you kissed her 1000 times called her pretty 1000 times told her she is perfect to you the girl of your dreams 10000 times all in the past hour
Tell her
Appreciate her
Buy her flowers take her out
Ask her where she wants to go
She likes art go an art museum you will find it boring but she will smile and light your nervous system up like a christmas tree nervously waiting for getting home and not even sex just laying in bed with her that love you will feel that connection…i miss it..i miss my Caela