the title of this letter was a silly joke we had one night, where you slammed the bed because you were bored. from that night I had always called you that. you bed slammer

Im thankful for what you taught me and even what you put me through, you showed me that love means so much more than cheek kisses, awkward hand holding and somebody to rock up to a party with and ramble about silly things with.

love is not always flowers and sweet stuff.

Its gritting your teeth, its coming out your second abortion alone shivering, hushing things under your breathe and crying silently into your pillow. Love is opening yourself whole heartedly and barely coming out alive. I loved you and I know you loved me, but we were not right for each other. We come from two different backgrounds but similar situations, you’ve been taught to walk out on things that don’t satisfy you and I was taught to fight for what I really want!

I saw you fighting to keep this relationship afloat, you tried but I knew what I always wanted, fighting you to be that was unfair.

you taught me something valuable too, that Ive never bothered to teach myself!

you taught me to leave things that don’t satisfy me.

after meeting you I finally left my job, I left a house that was a box, I left a depressing life full of what ifs.

my life has a few ‘what ifs’, but many more ‘what nows’

Thankyou for teaching me to take care of number 1.