Dear KB,
To every story there’s a beginning, middle, and end.
I met you when I felt young, reliant, dependent, and whatever else relates to juvenile behavior. I remember when we started talking: sometime early August last year. I had a major crush on you. You intimidated me, intrigued me, and sparked my interest. So, I hit you up. We played ball. The whole time I was thinking of how cute you were, but how impossible it seemed for you to loosen up. We texted…and I got to know you. The person who captivated me was finally becoming a part of my life. Throughout talking, we have had several “call it quits” moments. Fortunately, every time we reconnected, we came back stronger. But as we progressed, I began to change…and now I’m determining that it was only for the better. The more I began to know you, the more I began to know myself. I allowed myself become more vulnerable, I began to trust a stranger with my secrets, then my heart, and then ultimately …I began to love.

When I met you, I was brand new, untouched, and unloved in regards to being loved by someone other than family. So, you are my first actual kiss, my first genuinely real feelings, my first, in a sort of complicated way, “relationship”, my first heartbreak, my first time, but most importantly you are my first love. And you are the very reason I believe in love.

What I can’t comprehend sometimes is how I got lucky enough to be a part of your life in such an intimate way. Unfortunately, I wasn’t here first. In a fantasy, I would have wanted it to be me. I know what I feel for you, and I am a happier person when I can love you the way I do. But if ever our story couldn’t get any more complicated, now we have distance. So, this is where the strength of what I feel for you and what we feel for each other, will be tested. And the odds are very much stacked against me. But that’s okay. Maybe it is for the best…but I wanted you to know something before you leave:

Baby. You are my favorite person in the world, besides my mom. You are my best friend. You are the reason I smile more than 50% of the time. You are my biggest headache, yet my most effective pain reliever. You are my favorite hello, and my least favorite goodbye. You are the person I want to run to when I have something new to say. You are my person. You are my passion. But more than anything else…You are my dream. So, if dreams really do come true, I’ll be with you one day.
You said you don’t expect an extravagant love story, and neither do I. But, with a love like ours, it is kind of extraordinary considering the circumstances. Only time will tell…
My biggest fear is that you will forget me, and if not forget..I will become an afterthought to you. But even if that happens, I somehow believe that in the quiet moments of your day, your mind will run across a girl who drives you absolutely crazy. And you may even smile at the thought. I hope for that.
Promise me one thing if we never become anything…you’ll never regret the moments that once made you smile. Because I believe that what we have is real, I feel it. And, in the words of one of your favs “real love is never a waste of time.”

I love you.

~SL