I hope LA was an awesome time (How many small dogs are there on Santa Monica lol) and that San Francisco was just as good. If someone had told me a few months ago that we would no longer be together I wouldn’t have believed them for a second. I couldn’t have realised how two people that were once so happy and in love could become so distant.
Now that we aren’t together and things have settled down a bit I just honestly wanted to say that I really do wish you the best. You were such a source of joy and laughter in my life for the past two years and for that I just wanted to say thank you. I understand now why you weren’t happy in our relationship and I think you were right in ending things when you did no matter how much my head tells me otherwise. I hope you find someone out there that makes you laugh and that he helps you to be the best person you can be. You deserve that.
I was always too critical of you and took our relationship for granted. I stopped working on myself and fell into a depression which hurt us both.
I didn’t even realise what was happening before it was all too late. I let myself go and slowly cut myself off from everyone that cared about me. At first I blamed you in my head for that but I now realise it was my own insecurities and hatred for myself that led me there. I’ve been reflecting on our relationship a lot as I imagine you have too and I see the issues now. I’ve been working a lot of myself by eating better, exercising and meditating. You were so right about my friends and family caring about me. I really had no idea people cared for me as much as they do because I didn’t believe I was someone worthy of their love. Even though the circumstances are rough it’s really opened my eyes to the friendships I was letting slip.
I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t think of you every day. I miss waking up and having breakfast together, I miss playing with your hair, I miss holding your hands, I miss hugging you to my chest and telling you that I love you and that everything will be okay, I miss hearing about your day, I miss sharing everything with you but most importantly I just miss my best friend.
I keep thinking to myself maybe at some point we can rekindle our feelings for each other and try the relationship again but I also know sometimes the best thing to do if you love someone is to let them go. We both made mistakes in our time together, either together or apart I know we’ll grow from them and become better people.