If you find this letter and know it’s from me, please don’t hate me.

I remember a lot of moments with you even when we were friends.
I remember getting dinner a hungry jacks on our break, than getting told off for it 😂
I remember the calls while I was shipped up the coast
I remember holding your arm while telling my mother off.
I remember laughing at your fear of heights yet also telling the others to shut up. I remember the zoo lift too
I remember sitting on your lap and the piggy back rides
I remember when I started calling you by your nickname and why I gave it to you. It actually meant something completely different to me even though I was picking on your facial hair or lack of 😈….You were the first guy I ever fell in love with and with that, came that nickname. Your were special to me
I remember standing in the waves & texting while at camp till I fell asleep.
I remember the song (well parts of it)
I remember sitting on ur bed while your brother snuck around to your window.
I remember taking a drive and ending up at the beach, making pictures out of the clouds and stars. Wrapping my arms around you as we left, wishing I wasn’t attached.
I remember telling you about that dream.
I remember the moment I said goodbye
I remember seeing your face with the stickers and nye sitting by yourself
I remember the park and your bike
I remember saying “I’m pregnant” and how crap that felt to say
I remember the first time I said “I love you” & and your response
I remember every kiss, every cuddle & every mistake I’ve made
I also remember that night…

The moments might of been short lived but they left an impact, many I look back on and smile.

I made a choice and if I hadn’t who knows what would have happened but I’m not here for what if’s. I’m here to apologise for treating you so poorly in an effort to protect myself. I guess I hadn’t realised till now just how closed off I am. I do thank you with all my heart for ever second chance I had with you in my life, all the kind words and even the reality checks.

You will never be forgotten xx

( there is a lot of i’s mainly coz I don’t know where your mind wonders to with those memories but I hope it’s to a happy place for most of them)