You never choose whom to fall in love with and you never know when it strikes, but when it does, it’s with so much power you cannot ignore.There was nothing forceful, it just happened naturally. Everything was flowing with such questionable ease. I liked every step of it, every feel of it. Maybe I never fully appreciated it.
It had never been that way for me. He knew what I wanted, how I wanted it. He treated me with respect, helped me get through hard times. He was always there when I needed him; he wanted the best for me. Maybe I didn’t believe him.

He was emotionally and physically available, he checked on me every minute, everyday. I knew he was trying, that I didn’t take for granted. He had interest in what I did, whom I knew, and my life. Maybe I was too much of a pessimist.
I know it wasn’t easy, but that did not stop him. It was not so obvious; he did not rub it on my face. I knew my place. I threw tantrums; I knew it had hit the limits. But he stuck to his word; He was a gem, a rare one. Maybe I was too anxious.

The more I tried to stay away, the stronger it got. Everything I ever wanted was in him. Time flew, feelings got deeper, and anxiety became a norm. I knew I needed something more…the uncertainty was overly, I couldn’t ignore my feelings for him yet I could not rule out the possibility of pulling back. Maybe I was confused.
Then it happened, no impact at first till reality checked in. The imaginary perfect Disney tale I had in my mind started fizzling, slowly with unbearable magnitude, leaving behind a blank hollow space, one that started filling up with memories, regrets, wishful thinking, blame, confusion and questions.
Maybe I pushed my true love away, my soul mate or maybe it was just a passing fling, a stolen moment of passion, a rebound…
For all I know, it was an experience.