If only I was overdramatizing… But it’s my truest feelings now and it is kind of miserable and I want to let it go… The reason I am not sending it directly to the ex, that I don’t want to take another sin upon my soul. Forgive me gods for these evil intentions and thoughts.

Whoever learns about our break up got shocked deeply. They are in denial. 
I have only one thing to tell them – yes, it did happen. I would never imagine it myself because it’s so unnatural. It’s so weird. Why would we? 
But it did happen. Why were we happy then? It’s not usual breakup that everyone reaches after endless fights and cries. It was just another regular day…
And if only it ended beautifully as all our relationship was. Even my suffering was so poetically romantic, yet you demolished all these.
You turn out to be shitty person.
I have read and heard of so many wild and cruel stories, yet this was far worse then I deserved. 
There is a karmic law: 
People should not hurt each other like this. 
I don’t deserve it. Nobody does.
You should have been less cruel to me.

You know, you will never be over me.  
Who’s gonna love you.
My broken heart will heal one day, but yours never because you don’t have one. Because you destroyed the one that loved you. 
You will suffer. You will never have someone who would give all bits of a soul so freely and easily with such a deep trust into you. These beautiful things will never be part of your life no matter how hard you wish. You will never be happy as you were with me once. You are destined to live those moments in the past again and again. Nobody will give them to you because they know, unlike me once, you don’t deserve them. Memories of us will haunt you; you will never be free. It would be your karma and you will deeply regret doing this to me. 
No people are allowed to do this things to someone who loves them.
It killed my soul. You knew it would hurt me but you never cared for me enough to stop me from hurting myself. 
I am forgiving you for my own sake but you never will. Live with it. Failure. Piece of trash. 
Your shitty words that it would hurt three months or so and then you will be over it. It was low. It was despicable. I still want to vomit thinking of these words.
Saying that you don’t love me enough to make me happy would have been enough. It’s manageable to let go this kind of things and move on.
But you had to stab the knife into my heart deeper. You said you didn’t or don’t love me as a girl, as you used to once, and you should have broken up with me back then 2 years ago. Why didn’t you then? Why were you sleeping with me? Why were you kissing me? You saw me crying when we had sex back then…
What it makes you?
Toxic shitty man.
You lost your chance to be a precious part of my past I shared with someone I loved truly, deeply, madly. You poisoned it. You made my deepest and the innermost feelings so shallow. You just turned them into trivial toxic relationship where I “begged and clung onto you” and you simply could not put up with my tears. 
You didn’t even realize that you turned all of these three years into something that doesn’t worth grieving over. You took away even these beautiful things I could have been grateful for. 
I’m so pissed off and disappointed with 
myself. But I will be fine. You don’t deserve being missed, even for the sake of old good memories. You managed to spit into my bleeding soul.
Whatever was your reason I care no more because you are dead to me as a friend and as a person. I guess I wouldn’t let anyone like you be around me because it is just so disgusting and deficient. I wish I could see your true colors from the beginning. 
All you do is take, so carry all of these yourself. 
Thank you and try to live happily after what have you done.


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