God, I miss you so fucking much, we’re not really exes, but not really together either. You have been locked up for 20 months now. I hate it. Never in my life have i felt so alone. If i could go back in time and change this i would. I would go back to the night of June 29, 2018, thats the night that fucked everything up for us. Id do anything, anything, to change it, id take a fucking bullet, or even make it so we never met, anything so you didn’t have to go away. I just want you to come home, but i know things will never be the same and it’s terrifying. It’s so fucking scary. I don’t know if you’ll ever see this, i know you probably wont but i cant tell you how many nights i’ve cried in the last 20 months, how many days i’ve spent alone in bed because the heartache is unbearable. I love you, but i fucking hate you, and i’ll never tell you because i have no right and its not fair but i’m so fucking mad at you. You left me when i needed you most. But somehow i still love you.