I hope some day you stumble across this because I want you to know everything that you have taken from me, but everything that I have gained.
You know what you did.
I do not hate you for it. I do however wish i never would have met you. I wish I never answered your facetime call. I wish I would have left when I found out you were still sleeping with her while you were with me. I wish i would have left the first time you threw something across the room, or punched the walls. I wish i would have left when you called me a bitch.
I didn’t though and it got me to where I am today – broken, confused, feeling worthless, angry, traumatized.
You took everything I ever knew and loved about you and changed it in a matter of seconds. As soon as you didn’t stop. you took everything that made me the girl you “loved so much” “the strongest person you know” and destroyed her in a matter of 30 seconds because all you heard was “yes”. you took my self worth, my self love, my happiness. All because you wanted “one last time”.
I will however tell you what you taught me.
You taught me to never meet up with someone i call it quits with again alone. you taught me done is done. no looking back. you taught me what rock bottom really is. you taught me what breaking down and finding myself truly is. you taught me what is wrong with the world. you taught me what to look out for when my future daughter brings home her boyfriend. you taught me some guys truly don’t know the definition of “no” “please stop”.
What am I learning?
I am strong. every day is a struggle but everyday I keep breathing is part of winning the battle. I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am not what your actions made and continue to make me feel everyday. I will be happy again one day. I will be who I want to become, you will no longer stop me from that. I wont allow it.
You broke me… but I’m rebuilding.