Dear Ad,

Its been a while. I wish that we had more time. there were things i wanted to tell you but never got the chance to. I miss you. I still crave your presence. There times where i wish you didn’t mean so much to me. Times where i wish i could go back in time and say no to that movie invite. Holy shit, you broke my heart. I don’t blame you of course. I know you didn’t mean to.

Remember when we first met? remember that stupid ride? remember that night with the moon? This is pathetic. Here i am on the internet writing a letter to you, one that you might never see, just so i can find some sense of closure. I really thought you were going to be the one. My perspective on life changed when you entered it. There was a future. There was hope.

I remember changing for you. but not in a bad way. I remember improving myself and trying my best to better, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I felt like I wasn’t enough. as if i wasn’t worthy to be with you.

I got sober because of you. but although it may have seem to be a good thing, i just replaced my addictions. You became my new addiction. a drug of sorts. you made me happy. I was happy around you. I became a better person because of you. Some of my best memories of life and living are the ones i made with you.

I know that you’ve moved on and i only pray that you’re happy. but if you were to ask me to back in your life only to be hurt all over again, i really wouldn’t mind. To be honest i just didn’t like the person i was without you. You weren’t afraid to call me out on my bullshit. you cared about me in a way i never thought was possible for me. you’ll always have a place in my heart and i just wish i could thank you. 

That’s enough moping around i guess. Its time to move on. I am moving on. for real this time. This is it. Its been two years almost. I’ll see you around. I’m yours forever. 

Your dwerido and work, ck