Letting go

I put this letter under “what i wish I told you” which is ironic, because you never would’ve listened if I did tell you. A support service contacted me yesterday, a women with a husky voice, not as caring as you’d expect in their field, rang to asses me and put me on a waiting list. They told me it’ll be two weeks, which is perfect timing because then the P will have contacted me to tell me what’s happening next.

But these are just formalities aren’t they. Let’s be honest, you put me on that waiting list; you are the reason the P are calling me next week and i’m being offered support from a DA charity. It’s your fault. All of it is your fault. You beat me down everyday, making me feel like I wasn’t good enough and never could be good enough. Who does that!? You knew EVERYTHING I’d been through, absolutely everything. You watched me cry as my Mum started treatment and my family beat down every decision I made. You told me you were there for me when actually I was an opportunity. someone to blame for all your problems. 

You are an abuser.

I hope one day you hear those words and can’t escape them. I hope you are faced with what you’ve done because I am fighting everyday to recover from what YOU’VE done. Because I will recover, I promise you that.

PS when I finally get my restraining order, I’m partying. I’m gonna go out dancing, have fun and live life how I always wanted to. I thought that’s what life would be with you, dancing, fun, living. Turns out I have a date next week and you turned out to be an absolute (insert horrific swear words).

Make sure to buy my album when I’m famous. You will never have power over me again.


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