There’s so much I want to tell you but it’s too late and keeping it in is hurting me as the days move on. its weird to think I met you 4 years ago. we were just 12 years old. I never thought that you would be the guy I ended up loving but hey we learn something new everyday. its weird to think that the day I met you I was super mad and nervous about going to a new church ward and I almost ended up not going but something told me that I should just go. you were the first person that caught my eye and after that day I thought about you every single day. 1,316 days that you’ve been on my mind.

You broke me in many ways and made me insecure but for some reason I can’t let go of the thought of you. you’ve brought me more tears than laughter but the laughter you brought into my life overpowered all the tears, sadness, and hate. I hate myself for how much I love you and it hurts to know that you never meant the “I love you’s” that you gave me but the “I love you’s” I gave you were real. I still remember that day I told you I really really loved you and you called me stupid and laughed at me for being dramatic. I want you to know that really hurt because I’ve never loved someone this much and its sad to know that the person I love so much just treats me like a background character in the story when I treat you as the main character/the important person in the story.

I broke up with you last year and I just want you to know I still think about you everyday and I regret leaving you but I know it was the best thing I could’ve done. I miss you and I want the absolute best for you. I want you to find someone who loves you more than I do and I hope you find that person you truly do love. Please love them the way you couldn’t love me and don’t hurt her the way you hurt me. I hope one day we cross paths again and I hope things can be good between us. you were a big part of this chapter in my life and im glad to know I was at least a small part in your chapter. you mean the most to me and I know I say this a lot but I love you so much and I know its finally time to let you go after 4 years. its gonna be hard but I need to let go of the idea that we will end up being soulmates and that we will have a family together one day. its finally time to let you go. I’ll never forget all of our inside jokes and memories that we made together and I hope you don’t forget them either. Please be happy for the both of us. I love you Kev.