It’s been a year since we were broke up. I have no idea why but I still want to get back with you sometimes. We didn’t really end on the best terms. I had so much hope for us but I loved myself too much to let myself put up with a cheater. I’m not sure if I miss you or if I’m just lonely because when I keep myself busy or out having fun I don’t miss you but when I’m alone with my thoughts I miss you.

I remember hearing you got locked up and I was so mad at myself because I knew if we were together you’d have stayed out trouble. I held it down when we were together and kept you out of trouble that’s why it’s crazy to me how you could do me dirty. You knew I had trust issues, I told you about my past. You reassured me I was the one you could trust. I let my guard down with you. I felt so secure with you and never questioned your loyalty but you proved everyone right. I remember people telling me they saw you with females but I told them they was just your friends so it didn’t bother me. I was so wrong. I only thought the best of you and thought because I had good intentions so would you but you was being sneaky. I even stayed up late nights about us stressing about us because of a dumb argument and all of that was a waste of time.

All of us fixing our relationship was a waste of time. Because the moment you decided to cheat was also the same moment you threw it all away. I don’t get why you had to play me though you because you knew I was a good female so why didn’t you choose a female who was on some fuck shit. Funny how you claimed all you wanted was loyalty in a relationship but you couldn’t even provide that.

I know I shouldn’t still care about you but I never stopped. I hear about you and I know you’ve got a lot going on in your life rn, which hurts me so bad because I can’t be there for you and even though you hurt me by cheating on me twice I still only want the best for you. I’m honestly not angry at you anymore like I used to be. I don’t wanna see you dead or locked up again. I know you’re not my problem anymore but I still care for you.

You probably hate me now because I’ve fucked with lots of your friends since we broke up. I know you’re telling people I’m a hoe and I probably fucked with too many of your homeboys for us to get back together again. You the one who played victim after we broke up, blaming me and even though we made promises to each other that we’d work through everything but one thing I’ll never do is fix things with a cheater. You lied to my face making me question myself as if I didn’t see you cheating with my own eyes. You was tryna make me feel like I was crazy. You got mad at me for yelling at you in front of everyone but I didn’t even care. I wanted everyone to know you wasn’t shit.

It’s been a year though so I’d hope you changed. You even made childish shit up about me after we broke up because you was mad at me. We cleared it up and once again you couldn’t take the blame so you put it on your friends. I’d hope you’ve grown up from that. I know the cheating comes from all your insecurities and problems. Looking back I question what it all was because how can you cheat in love? That shit just don’t sit right with me. I never thought twice about another dude and you knew I had so many opportunities. I was even loyal to you in the talking stage and turned everyone who came my way for you.

I did the most for you. I bought you shit and paid for you when you was struggling. I know you kept me out of trouble too. I know at times I was a lot to put up with because I said stupid shit and I’d try to argue and you’d always be the one to ask to drop it because you hated us arguing but overall I was always going out of my way for you. You was always there to protect me and would kill for me. You made me so happy too when everything was straight between us. All of my homegirls saw how geeked I was over you and every time I saw you’d put this cheesy ass smile on my face. I even told my momma about you and swore to her you were actually a good one. I wanted you to be the father of my first child. Everyone thought you were gonna my baby daddy. That’s how whipped you had me.

I miss some of those moments with you. I kept you safe and kept you out of that street shit but as soon as we broke up you’re back into the mix. I wanted us to work out so bad but I guess our relationship was just a lesson. I guess we weren’t meant to be and I wanted us to be but I wish you didn’t have to cheat so we could’ve worked out. I feel stupid still caring about a cheater because I probably don’t cross your mind anymore. I already know you’re fucking with lots of other females rn. I hope some day we can find each other again and I hope you fix all your issues so we can finally work out and do this shit right again. I wish the best for you. I love you.