you came into my life at one of my lowest points, and I thought you were sent to save me. The thing with you was that you could easily see through me, so you knew how vulnerable I was with you. I was scared of opening my heart to someone else and it haunted me to go down that road ever again. Still somehow you convinced me to trust you and live a little. And when you told me that you loved me, my past came knocking on my door. No matter how much I tried to run from it, that was my truth to face. So I did what I always do, guard my walls and conceal my feelings.

I never told you this but I would get butterflies in my belly every time you laughed that adorable giggles, or when you would look at me in a way that the world around you didn’t exist, or when you would tell me how beautiful my eyes were when they shone in the sun, or when you would listen to my favorite songs just to sing along with me, or when you told me how much you loved me even when I didn’t say it back. In my head we were perfect, but truly we were far from it. There wasn’t a single atom in my body that didn’t love you back.

I’m so sorry I couldn’t say it then, but I did love you, oh so much. I loved you when you told me that, I loved you when we met under the street lights, I loved you when you kept me close, and I loved you when you told me get a life and move on because you thought I wasn’t the one for you, but you were everything to me. I loved you through it all but I cannot keep loving you because it kills me to give my heart only for it to go down in drain and break. I cannot keep loving you so I keep a memory of you to remember because at some time you truly saved me. Now you’re watching me drown.