Hi Alex,

I hope all is well with you. It’s been a long time since we spoke. I go through phases of thinking about you and having the urge to reach out but it doesn’t feel quite right.

I’m writing this letter to you now to tell you a truth I held back when we broke up. I told you I kissed someone else, but I did actually sleep with them. I was too ashamed and scared that it meant `I was becoming the bad person `I didn’t want to be. I was horrified what it meant about me, nobody wants to be a cheater. My ego was so wrapped up in a shame spiral, I couldn’t think about what was the right thing to do for you and my true self.

So I am sorry I couldn’t tell you the full truth at the time, that I lied to protect myself and not you. I wonder whether you could never have considered us getting back together, as we did briefly, had you known the full truth.

I couldn’t face the full truth myself and work out what it meant, what I actually needed and how to ask for it. I’ m learning to do that now, and really this letter isn’t asking anything from you. I’m asking myself for forgiveness and acceptance. That’s what I need in order to know and face who I am.

All my love and luck with everything,
Tash