Rosco. I have an interactive heartache, when I look at the door it just reminds me of you, I wish I can leave something off on you of something we both knew; the windows plaster and replay my memories of what we did. That might drive to stripes. Dancing in the dark, what we did in the mirror but even somehow it wasn’t {reacted} to me, it was something more, something like a poetry between you and me. Every time we kissed the feeling of your lips hitting mine, your hands entangled on my flesh, you grasped my heart Rudy, it’s pounding for you even harder and you always have, my mouth was gaped open the second time you came around to the gym and I saw you. I still remember the feeling.

I just want to get close to you, I know you won’t allow it but god you’re so hard to resist, you’re my special drug Rudy and I can’t get you off my tongue. You left a good taste but I still regret many things I’ve done to hurt your open heart that you let me handle. I replay things over and over like I said in my last letter but god how I love laughing or crying over whatever it is. I miss it. I miss you. I miss your touch. No one will ever top you no matter what my mom says. You keep me awake at night. I can’t image a life without you.

Thank you for all the memories but god I have to get all of this off my chest. You make me feel every way possible, and sometimes I can’t tell if I have my actual Rudy when I talk to him but whatever it is you’re doing it hurts but I brush it off somehow. This time however I’m getting tired, I yearn to see you. I want you. Not a sexually, I want your  mind and your soul. No wonders or words can fit into how much I love you and loath you. I get excited at the thought of you and it ain’t funny dawg don’t play with me. I love you. I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you AGRGRGRGRG FUCK 3:13am May 2. Also idk if it’ll hit right on time but I know I’m gonna feel hopeless when our date of this month comes around.