You’ll never get to see or read this, but I guess I feel somewhat better knowing it’s out there. I wanted to wish you a very happy birthday. I still remember. I wish I was still with you to celebrate. I know that will never ever happen.
Sometimes, that reality kills me inside even after all these years. How I wish I had another chance with you. I am so different than 20 years ago. I know you don’t feel the same. You probably don’t even think about me. That’s fine, everything was my fault any way. I know you moved on a long long time ago.
There has never been anyone who loved and accepted me the way you did. I never found that kind of love or bond again. It’s painful, it hurts my soul and I wish I had another chance. 

I hope you are happy. I hope she loves you the way you deserve to be loved. I hope your life is better without me. If you only knew how sorry I was and still am.
Happy birthday, I’ll never forget you.