Today, like several other days, I thought about you again. 

And today, like other days, I cried. Again. 

It wasn’t the ugly cry, nor the whimpering kind, it was the silent kind. Teardrop falling and tumbling down. Just two at a time. 

2 years down the road has taught me much, learning to be myself and to move on 99.9% if the time. Sometimes that 0.01% comes back to haunt me and I keep thinking of erasing what happens. I keep thinking that somehow, maybe you haven’t forgotten me and that maybe in some places you were still hurting. I guess with time I would learn to understand that you hurt me, when you had the chance not to. It was deliberate and sharp and all the horrible things in the world and I welcomed your trauma with my kindness and openness. 

It would’ve been a lot of other things would the two people involved be older/wiser/sane. Let me choose to believe that, for the first time, I gave in to destiny and to fate. Because the pain was simply too much to bear alone. 

Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and maybe get distracted by not thinking about you. Some nights may get tough because I think of how hurt I’ve been. And all of these happened to make me the better person I am today. A person who is trying to reach her fullest potential within her boundaries and capabilities. 

Maybe one day we’ll meet and I’ll get to express how difficult it felt and I’ll be able to tell you how I’m over you.