I will tell you na lang what happened since we broke up. I’m pretty sure you will realize how unfortunate I am. Oh well, yung nung isang araw, girls won’t never understand boys when it comes sa pride. They say ma-pride daw ang mga lalake. Nung tayo pa and you were prepared already, pinalampas ko yun. Nung nag-break tayo, ininis kita so you could move easily and I think I succeed. I just realized na naiwan akong mag-move-on and it’s close to lossing.
I hate lossing. Nainis ako sa’yo because nang-iwan ka sa ere. Ang ginawa ko nun nagpakasaya ako sa school and I don’t know, pagdating ko sa bahay I feel down. My grades went down, so I decided to release my anger sa pamamagitan ng pag-aaral nang mabuti, but nothing happened. When I was in the car naiisip kita lagi and I hated that, so I always slept, because when I looked into the window, naiisip ko lahat. I actually went to US and met my dad. I ran and hugged him like a child. When I was hugging him, I thought why he wasn’t there when I needed him.
I have also met my half siblings, but they didn’t accept me. I told my dad about my problems. He said I was a man and kahit na hindi na daw niya ako bigyan ng advice, alam ko na daw yung gagawin ko, but nothing changed about my feelings, for I’m really depressed. I joined the Teen Nation Tour para naman may ginagawa ako. Every night, I said to myself what was my purpose here on earth, did God forget about me? I attended masses. I always prayed na sana makalimutan na kita.
Naiinggit ako kapag may naaaksidente, because they could finally rest in peace. One night, I felt like there was something heavy on my chest, para bang pasan ko yung mundo. Paggising ko, ayun 50/50. I’m still thinking bakit hindi pa ako natuluyan. Here, I’m still at the hospital. I’m already lossing my faith in God. Naging mabuti naman akong lalake and I tried to make sure na no girl would ever cry, pero ako pa talaga yung nasaktan. When I found out na hindi mo na ako mahal, I thought wala lang sa akin kasi expected naman na, pero it seemed like my heart broke. I’m not really obsessed. Masaya lang ako kapag kausap kita. It was actually the first time I have felt happiness. Yung someone’s always there for me, someone who I can tell good news, and someone who can cheer me up whenever I’m down. Siguro nga it started as a game kaya it would also end as a game. THE END XD