You’ll never see this. But I’m putting it out there regardless. 
This has been so had for both of us. I never imagined we’d end up like this. Sounds so cliche, but after everything. I never thought you’d abandon me. Let alone your unborn child….

It’s shit because I miss so much about you. I miss playing with your hair and running my fingers thro your beard. I miss being in the car with you. Your silly laughs and bad jokes. Your morning messages and check ups thro the day. Hearing your voice. Your support. Your kindness and lovingness. I miss you being in my bed. I miss cuddling, kissing and having sex with you. I miss just smelling you. Us spending time together. I was so lucky to have you. 

I thought as time goes by it would ease. But it hasn’t. Although, with time. I have finally found some sort of calm. And honestly as much as I want to hate you, I can’t. 

And as much as I want to be stubborn and never want to see or talk to you again. Deep down I would. Because I still and will always love you.