Its been two months since you decided to end it with me over text. One year of my life I’ll never get back. But I want you to know. I am not resentful; I am not angry; I don’t wish you any ill-will. I am finding gratitude in my solitude. I am seeing that it had to end for so many reasons, and I am realizing that you ending it in that way was actually a boost for me to keep moving forward. I deleted the pictures, the texts, and am slowly deleting my mental memories. I think about the good times, then sometimes think about times I thought were “good” but that were actually not-so-good…just clouded by the haze of the love I had for you.

Human beings are complicated, I get it. I still wanted to work on our problems. But you chose to tell me, when you ended it, that all of MY issues were what was holding us back, what was causing us to not move forward. But you were not open to see how you might also have contributed to the standstill… your lack of initiative, your “reclusive nature”, your unwillingness to try to understand me….your resolution that growing intimacy was only done a certain way (sex, touching, overnights) and couldn’t possibly be developed more genuinely how I would have liked (talking more, phone calls, more dates, day trips, respecting my boundaries).

I get it. You’re an adult. You’ve lived other relationships. To you that is how it has to work, I won’t argue with you on this anymore. I wish you well, and I hope you find the person who can accept your approach and whom you can love with all your heart, flaws and all.

Thank you for helping me to recognize that while I wanted you to be my husband, the father of my future children, and so much more….that you are not that man for me. But hopefully you will be for somebody else. Because deep down I know you have a good heart, a wonderful laugh, a sensitive nature. And I want you to be happy. I accept that we could not make each other happy for many reasons. I just hope I didn’t hold you up too much from finding your forever-person. I know God brought us together for a time, so that we could both learn new lessons from the experience; I know I sure did! I am grateful, and with that gratitude, I am moving on. 

I truly wish you well,

MM