You never actually loved me, you loved the feeling of being in a relationship. All you have ever done is jump from girl to girl to fill the void in your heart that you can’t seem to handle. You’re scared of being alone, with nobody to love you. Your life has no purpose if you don’t have constant validation, sex, and admiration. You’re scared of yourself and your emotions so you reach out to anyone who will let you. My biggest regret is not realizing that sooner. I thought I was special, you told me I was, but the reality is I never was. I was someone for you to milk dry, to break down at the expense of my well-being.
I thought if I had loved you enough you would have done something about your shortcomings. But you never cared about me enough to actually change. You wanted it to be easy. You only wanted me to change. You said we would grow together but I know now that was never your intention. Now that we’re over, it took you less than a week to find multiple new girls to replace me. And for that, you are truly pathetic.
You will never be happy if you keep running from the thing that scares you most, being alone with yourself. You will break so many hearts of girls who want an emotionally vulnerable, self aware man. But you are a boy who can’t handle retrospection because you’ll have to realize just how shitty you are. You are emotionally stunted, you can’t handle the fact that you are a bad person, and you use others to distract yourself from that fact. You will never truly love anyone, not when your underlying goal is to take and take but never give anything back. I wish you nothing but the worst.
1 Comment
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Thank you for writing this. I went through something similarly awful and I think your letter perfectly describes a trauma bond with someone who could be a narcissist. Much love for your healing, you are strong and open, mature and sensitive and I have no doubt that the profound, compassionate love you deserve will find you 🩷