Thetis,

It’s been 35 months since we last talked, and just now I realized that you never actually apologized for all the lies and cheating. Oh, you said sorry plenty of times, but none of those “I’m sorry” were genuine apologies. 

First, it was the condescending, “I’m sorry but I did these hurtful things for your own good.”

Later, it was the manipulator’s classic, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Then, “I’m sorry but you have to understand why I felt justified in doing this.”

Afterwards, “I’m sorry but I’m bipolar so it was alright for me to do those things and the true victim here is me.”

And the last apology you gave me was, “I already said sorry so many times, but since it’s never enough for you, I’m saying sorry again.”

Not a single genuine apology. Only a bunch of condescending, defensive phrases that you pretended were apologies. 

You were so taken aback when I said I would never forgive you. But how can I ever give you genuine forgiveness when I never received a genuine apology? Don’t expect me to be the bigger person. I never was, and never pretended to be such, as you did. 

Oh, I still wish for that genuine apology. But it’s been 35 months since we last talked. I’m sure I will never get it. 

And you will never be forgiven. Even if the rest of the world forgives you and you forgive yourself, I won’t. 

Aspen’s Mom