Dear You,

I knew the whole time that it wasn’t gonna last. I’m not stupid. I knew that when you said you loved me, you were gonna stop one day. I knew when you kissed me you would kiss someone else later. I knew. I went into our relationship and I knew.

But I let myself forget. I started to believe you. I started to say “I love you” and mean it. I started to picture us together, forever and ever, like some fairy tale. I knew in the back of mind that that was stupid, that that’s not how first love’s work. But I kept pushing it away.

So when you broke up with me almost three months ago, I shattered. I couldn’t understand what had happened. I still don’t. I think about what I would say, what I would ask you if I could. Why did you do it the way you did? Why did you suddenly break off? Why do you hate me now?

It has gotten better. I realized a couple weeks ago that I don’t really miss YOU, I miss the feeling, the IDEA of you. That was a turning point for me, honestly.

So now I’m working on being just friends with you. I’m trying not to look at you and remember things, like the hottub, the football games, the inside jokes. I’m trying to forget those things and start over.

So please, don’t hate me. Let me in again. I don’t want to lose you all the way.

Love, Emma

P.S. I lied when we played “Circle of Truth.” I would take you back.