It’s been 7 months of not hearing a word from you, not seeing the smile on your face or that weird shrug you do when you’re nervous or excited. I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to comfort.
Everything reminds me of you. Sitting in my car, music, laughing, my job, my hobbies, everything I believe in. Even the things I never shared with you, my imagination runs off and fabricates a what if. It’s like your spirit is with me after all.
I will never understand why you couldn’t just break up, but asking me to wait, leaving me here with this small hope. I wonder how it is you sleep at night knowing you cowardly slipped away. I want to believe so terribly that you are better than this and you do things the right way. I wish my faith would weaken but it instead it strengthens and my pining is everlasting.
My 24th birthday was the saddest and hardest day in my life. It feels as though you died a sudden death and I am still pressing your chest to revive you.
I thought if I gave myself the time and space and meet someone new that I would be back to new but it ain’t so. Finding ecstasy amongst many suitors is increasingly rare and just almost non existent it seems.
When I least expected it God sent me you. I just wished you held on tightly too.