I love you, but i hate you

I love you, but i hate you

I love you, but i hate you

LTME-postDear Sam,
As I had told you before, you were my dream guy. Little did I know that you’d be my worst nightmare.. so why, oh why? Do I still harbor these feelings for you, for us? Those are questions I may never have the answer to, and that’s quite alright, life I suppose is supposed to leave important questions unanswered.

I wish you’d just talk to me, but even if you did, I don’t know what I’d even have to say to you, and I already know that whatever you have to say has been said before.

I wish you would have loved me like I loved you, I wish you would have never called me all those names, or abuse me the way you did, I wish our relationship could have been normal. I wish we could have been sober, but the drugs turned us into people we weren’t really, and caused us to hurt each other badly.

We’re both sober now, but everything that has happened, has happened, I don’t think I could ever forgive you for everything you ever did to me, and I know you can’t forgive me either.

I fear yet hope to see your face once again, to hear your voice.. because even though being with you was a living hell, I still was madly in love with you. I guess that’s the case of all abusive relationships though? Who knows.

You’ve taught me how to be a better person, and how to recognize abuse before it gets as bad as ours got.

Idk, you’ve taught me a lot.
A major life lesson that I’ll never forget, and I’ll never forget you either.

And maybe, just maybe in another life we’ll have our happily ever after, until then, I hope that you’re doing well, and i hope that whomever you do end up with, you treat her right, because if you do then she will be the luckiest woman alive.

I love you, but i hate you, and that’s why I can’t ever be with you again.

But forever a piece of my heart you will hold.

-Raiane (Rain)


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