I’m just as fucked as hell right now; yeah! The exact same state i was the day you met me. You remember right?… I was afraid to love, slow to talk, easily angered and the worse of all. To me, every moment still feels like yesterday except that the part where we knew ourselves has now become a bit blurry. Love in itself wasn’t as fun as the world published of it and it sure wasn’t as easy as falling but then, something in us made it fun and that same something in us gave it worth.

I remember those many days we never kissed, we never really saw at night and hence, our chances were slim cause to us, The night was a day to love.
I’ve missed you and it’s not my fault and I hope everyday that just like you, I could move on but I guess the first always leaves a lasting impression. So for me, I just can’t think past the fact that what was so perfect could in the end, become a wasteland. Even If in my own words I have tried to water and plant trees, it seems our fall was Divine and that our stay was a bit stronger than the Love we stood on.. You understand right? We loved ourselves too much to the extent that we forgot to love. We never had to say “I love you” anymore cause we felt we already knew.. Foolish we! How did we expect to strip love of her title and honor and still be her bossom friends? 

We were too perfect for each other all the while forgetting that friction had it’s importance. If the surface is too smooth, everyone that walks on it, will slip and fall. And we walked everyday on that smooth surface. We survived some times without falling only because we wore footwears with nails on their base but as quick as the spark that we had disappeared, so also, our feet got tired of being crucified and in the end, we fell. But it’s good you know! Not every fall leads to a shatter and lucky for us, we didn’t shatter. As funny as it may sound, I still tell everyone that you were and still is the best and I hope everyday that I wouldn’t punish the lady I’ll later love with talks of how you were just as good as the pains that make us. 

There’s one thing I can’t quite seem to understand though; How is it that the stamp you left on my heart is ten times stronger than the one I left on yours?. I still repeatedly ask myself this question every passing hour — if there’s any chance of we getting back together, will there be a chance of we being together?.. I guess some pains are meant to heal us and some waters, meant to make us even more thirsty. But this thing we lost, didn’t give me the urge to look for a better one. It simply caged me to memories I still can’t completely access. I try as much as possible to still get those perfect pictures, but it just doesn’t work so well.

I still remember your smile and I still try each day, to mimic your laughs. Surprised?..it’s true. Everything has an end and I would be unfair to ask for a do-over even if I so badly desire it. So, this is my wish for you “I wish you happiness and love that is not as perfect as we had and I wish you joy and every other thing that we might have lost the moment our love went wrong”. I LOVE YOU and I would have said you mean the world to me but this version of the world is infested although it’s  absurd to be saying that now, but my words still mean a lot to me!

Yours Lovely
Solomon O. Osazuwa