Dear You,

I’m writing this letter to you, heartbroken and hoping you never read it.  Wow… everything now gives me nostalgia.  Not the the good one, but the sad.  We shared so many memories that now I feel like I didn’t know to be by myself.  I remember the first time I saw you.  I had an instant crush on you, but I never knew we were gonna become so close.  That first “date”, I knew you were the person I was looking for my entire life.  We were becoming closer everyday, always texting and seeing each other at least once a week.  Everything was perfect for me, until you said that you preferred if we stay like we were, just friends hanging out, because you wanted to focus on you life goals first.  That in the future you could consider be with me and form a relationship.  I thought God put you in my life, because of the odds of us meeting.  That’s why I decided to not move on from this and give it time, because if it’s meant to be, it’ll be, right? Well, I don’t know now.  

That was a year ago, the first time you told me that.  We kept hanging out and I got to know your family, which I loved and they liked me too.  I remember every time you said that your dad asked you about me… I knew I was doing everything right.  One of the things that really made me sad, was the fact that you never wanted to meet family, because you didn’t want them to think we were dating.  Even though we kind of were… but I can see the problem now… you were so scared of commitment, because either I’m stupid, or you’re stupid , but no friends hang out like we did… and I saw some signals and some people did too, but when I asked you about it, you said you didn’t want a relationship.  The gifts… I’ve never gifted anyone so much before like I did with you.  Heck, I never loved anyone so much like I loved you.  You told me a couple of times how much you appreciated me and I remember on New Year’s Eve that you told me that I was one of the best things that happened to you that year.

But still, you didn’t want a relationship and I asked you that more than five times.  We used to talk so much… but like a month before the quarantine of COVID-19, you began to ignore some messages, some voice messages and it was like you didn’t want to talk anymore.  You stopped calling me on FaceTime.  Now, when the quarantine came, you really really were distant with me.  I asked you about it and you said that you just didn’t want to miss anyone, because it would make being quarantined worse?  Are you kidding me?  Why are you so afraid of loving and missing?  isn’t that what love is about?  So, we could spend at least one week without talking and you didn’t know this, but it was killing me.  Thank God I had a friend who helped me to overcome that.  Later on, I got so tired of this game, that I stopped contacting you and one day we talked, I decided to ignore one message that didn’t need a response… that means I stopped paying that much attention to your messages and didn’t put an effort to make you feel wanted and appreciated, because I needed some respect too. 

Since that, you haven’t contacted me and that was 4 months ago.  We couldn’t spend one week without talking, now it’s been 4 months.  What made me write the letter is that it bumps me and hurts me how you haven’t contact me at all and you started to share some posts on Facebook saying that you don’t even care anymore if someone wants to leave your life, you won’t chase anyone.  Now I feel like I’m a bad person and that it was my fault the relationship died.  Do you know how many times you have ignored me and not paid attention to me?  I could have move on from your life, but I didn’t, because I loved you with all my heart.  But I guess you didn’t really feel the same way as me.  I can’t say I wasted my time with you, because I learned to really love, but I’ve been so hurt, that I wish I haven’t met you, so I can move on easy with my life and chase my goals.  I still miss you and although I wish you the best, I really want you to think about how much you hurt me and think about how difficult is going to be to find someone like me again.  After all, I was just a boy who loved someone, more than anything.  Although I want to forget you, I know I won’t.  Your birthday is in 5 days and really wanted to spend it with you, but now I can’t.  Now I’m moving abroad, to start a new life, with a pain in my heart, because I wish things were different between us.

Have a great life and in advanced, Happy Birthday.

Much Love