I don’t know where you are or what you are doing or whether you are happy or struggling. It was easier for me just to pretend what happened between us never happened but that’s easier done symbolically (disappearing) then it is mentally. I still think of you often. I wish I didn’t. I wish I’d had the strength to walk away properly three years ago, but you kept pulling me back in for some reason, despite clearly not respecting me when we were together. I got weaker after the breakup, you got over it. Truth is I was in love with you from the moment I met you and always sensed you weren’t that crazy about me. 

If we’d let things be when I ended it I always imagined we could have been really good friends. I knew you were struggling with everything that had happened while we were together and I did forgive you afterward. What I can’t forgive is the way you wouldn’t let me go after we split, even if deep down I suspect you still weren’t into me, it was just your ego telling you I was the one. Why were you only nice to me after I rejected you? Why when I did try and make things right did you sit there listing every single thing I did wrong and pointing out all my flaws. 

Love isn’t about control. It’s not about one person being right and the other wrong all the time. Why was it so hard just to be nice to me? 

I have met several people since you and it’s been a good journey for me alongside all the work I have been doing on myself. I’m still single as realised I need more time to really become the person I want to be but I’m doing good and excited about the future again finally. I do believe in karma and do hope you are doing good too. I want to forget you but there’s a small part of me that misses you. The you I never really had…….