Hi,

I know I wasn’t always perfect but I just need you to know that looking back at our relationship, everything I felt and said was real and I don’t want you to ever doubt that. And I hope you find someone someday that is everything I wasn’t because you deserve the world. I’m sorry that wasn’t me. I think for a while I hated you and couldn’t understand how you could hurt me like this, but I don’t at all anymore. I want you to live the best life and I don’t want you to think I have any ill will towards you. I’m always going to love you. I think you’re always going to be the one who got away. I hope one day we can find our way back to each other, but I am confident that I ruined that. I don’t think you’re ever going to look at me the same way you once did. I think every positive memory of us is tainted by how crazy I’ve been. That’s why I’m sorry, I think. I’m sorry you have to remember me this way. I never wanted to become the “crazy ex girlfriend.” Yet, objectively, that’s what I have become.

You broke up with me because you weren’t happy. Why am I so mad at you for wanting to be happy? That’s all I want. Maybe I’m reflecting the anger I have towards myself for that onto you? I do truly hate that I wasn’t able to do that for you. Being with you made me believe in something bigger. I don’t know if that sounds insane.

I hate the idea that you might look at me so negatively now. Looking back at the last two months, I wish I just accepted it was over instead of begging you and making it harder for you. I think the begging was me trying to prove to you I would always fight for you. I still would. But there is nothing left to fight for. I wish I realized that earlier. The only reason I regret begging is if it pushed you further away. I don’t regret fighting until the very last second with you. But, that should’ve been done by giving you the space you needed. Up until yesterday, every way I acted has been so wrong. I’m sorry.

I’m glad you’re happier without me. I wish I found this website earlier. It probably would’ve helped me to stop contacting you.

Thanks for everything, 
R