It’s been almost one week, and I haven’t contacted you- haven’t even tried. Truth is, contacting you will only make it harder for the both of us. Everything I am about to type is from the heart and I just need you to know it. I’m not going to tell you that it is going to be easy to read because well…. it won’t be. But, here goes nothing.

After being in a relationship with you for a little over one year I can honestly say i was only happy for MAYBE half of it. How is that fair to me? I know you’re upset… I left you. But why should I have stayed in a relationship that i wasn’t happy in? The first time we broke up… you were a straight up ass. This time? I just lost feeling. Maybe if things played out differently if the first break never happened we would still be together… but maybe not. Should I have done it in person? Probably. But how could I let you drive 2 hours home crying?

Truth is, I care about you. I texted someone today and asked how you were doing. I hate seeing you hurt over me cause truth is IM NOT WORTH IT. I know that was a waste of 4 words because you won’t believe it, but its true. I couldn’t keep stringing you on like nothing was wrong. I couldn’t keep wasting both of our time. I couldn’t keep feeling the way i felt. You quoted me and said, “We can fix anything.” I was wrong. I can’t fix lost emotions. I know this isn’t what you want to hear but I’m sorry. I know you’re turning your life around and thats great. But do it for you, not for me. And quit saying that you’ll never date again cause thats just unreasonable and to be honest quite stupid. I’m at a point in my life where if I can’t see myself marrying someone I am not going to continue a relationship. I couldn’t drag it on and hurt you more. That one probably stung and again, I am sorry. I would like to thank you though. I want to thank you for everything that you have done for me in the past year of my life. You have given me everything I could have hoped for and the opportunity to grow as a person. Just because things didn’t work out with us doesn’t mean you should be down. You will find your true love one day. And I know you’re saying “No I won’t because Its you.” But it isn’t. You’ll find someone to stick by your side in the good and bad. I am thankful for all the memories we made and all the firsts we had given to each other… for example on April 15 when we went to the Q and watched our favorite teams play even though our favorite players didn’t ( Cavs won in case you forgot)! And your first vacation to florida (twice). And you gave me my first trip to Toledo, and my first drinking experience. And there were so many more and thank you for each and every one of them. I don’t want to drag this on, so I am going to say good bye now. And if you have questions or comments you have my number… but that doesn’t guarantee an answer… keep that in mind.

I wish you the best of luck in the next chapter of your life and know that i will be thinking about you. I’d love to talk to you eventually when emotions fade a little more, but until then…. Stay Handsome.

~Emily