I really thought you were the one but now knowing the truth about you I wish I never let you steel my heart. I always let my head get to me and let my anxiety get to me, now I know my head was right all along. I cant forget about you because we have so much good times together and now I can’t do anything with you coming back into my mind with a flashback.Some days I act like I am fine and I feel like I am glad that I lost you because I found out who you really were, then again on other days I wish I still had you in my arms.

You use to blame me for doing everything and told who to be friends with but if I did that to you would never listen and walk away. I was doing everything for you and I did everything that I could to keep us together but now I wish I could go back to the start and let myself not fall for you. All you wanted to do with play with me and my feelings and then after all this time just leaving without a word to say, you make it feel like it was all my fault. You were my first love and I guest it was my hardest goodbye.

Mom thinks I am crazy and thinks the pills will help but she don’t know what’s going on inside my head. I am writing this with tears because no one will know how it feels to have your heart crushed by the only one who was keeping you alive and now with your demons bugging you all the time and telling you things you don’t want to hear. I am so insure about myself so I always suck in my gut and hope that I look skinny,make-up to cover up everything to make me feel pretty.. I go days without eating sometimes and nights without sleeping with depression, now I don’t even want to get out of bed, I am even afraid to sleep because your there always haunting me. I just cant help it because the feeling you gave me when we were alone together was undesirable and now without that I feel lost and I am always looking for someone to try and fix me but I am still stuck on you. I have no idea what you did to me its like now I don’t care about anything. I don’t even be in school any more because of my hate knowing your there loving her instead of me. It came to the point were I don’t even want to be here any more because I hate myself and everyone around me. I just hope your happy and don’t worry about me I will be fine….I hope.

I can’t even stand the sound of you name because every time I hear it, it brakes me.

I cut myself again…I am sorry…