Where to even begin. Our relationship started out great. Wonderful in fact. I fell hard and fast and completely in love. You were separated from your wife, then when we started dating asked for a divorce. You had a couple of kids with her so I knew it was going to be hard. Not because I don’t love children but because your ex would feel hurt and your children were away in a different state. Due to your job you couldn’t fly to see them whenever you wanted. You said you loved me first. Everything with you was you saying it first. Marriage? Moving in together? All you. I began to believe in your words, because I loved you and who wouldn’t want to marry and live with their loves. Than things began to head south. You and I are drinkers, socially and to relax I love to have a couple. I thought you were normal about it, until one night you get completely trashed and scream and yell at me and say nasty things to me.

The next morning you “forgot” about it. Then facebook… you block me. But you didn’t just block me, you blocked everyone that knew me and added your ex. Of course you lied about all of this saying you deleted it. I call you out and you continue to lie. Ridiculous. Then more and more lies come out. More heartache. Then you avoid me and give me reasons why you can’t see me. Then what do you know, your ex is back living with you and your kids. Shady. You are an awful liar and I call you out on it, you continue with your lies. Your best friend of all people comes to me and tells me you cheated on me, not with just your ex but some random slut at a club.

I immediately text you and go off. You act frantic and call and call, text and text. Finally I meet up to hear your pathetic excuses. Me being in love and naive and more than slightly stupid, accept what you have said and accept your pathetic apologies. What a fool I am. I should have dumped you then, but the heart is a tricky thing. Your ex emails me, she is in a similar situation as me albeit with kids. She was in the dark like me and his friend told her about me. We meet. We text and email. Both of us hating him, yet not able to let him go. I should have. I know that now. He leaves for a few months for work and she ends up hating me. If I were her I’d dislike me too. Not because I’m a bad person, but because I’m a symbol of her failing marriage and her heartbreak. The other woman.

I never thought that would be me. I innocently went into this relationship looking for love and commitment. Never would I take someone’s husband or boyfriend from them knowingly. Little did we both know or realize what a shady, cheating, liar we were dealing with. Such a charmer he is and so cute. Even when I want to hit you in the face, I want to kiss it at the same time. Pathetic. Fast forward a few months you come home and we move in. Not even a month later she threatens you with your kids and career and suddenly I’m out and screwed. But its not your fault, its always her fault. Eventually after more lies and manipulations we are still together. I end up pregnant. You break up with me and treat me like shit.

You reblock me on Facebook and add your ex and say you are married again. Both of us having been in the dark again. Both of us stupid. Her and I. Holding on to a man who treats both of us like shit and with no respect or love. He forces me into an abortion. Which kills me inside as I’m against it. Says he doesn’t want to break up anymore. Then he does it again after the abortion. So I’m alone and grieving two losses.The loss of my relationship and the loss of a baby I had growing inside of me. A baby I’ll never know. On top of this I’m in pain from the procedure and nauseaous at all times and completely alone because no one I know can ever know I had an abortion. It makes me deeply ashamed of myself and saddened that I let a man force me into that. Then what do ya know a week later he begs for me back and me being hormonal take him, than it starts all over. Needless to say I am a pathetic, sad, naive person. I am disgusted at him and with myself for letting him treat me that way for so long.

Never again. He is the worst human being I have ever met. He has ruined my heart and my spirit. I am broken.