I have feelings, you know

I have feelings, you know

I have feelings, you know

So, wow; you hate me because I still have feelings for you and I’m finding it almost impossible to forget everything that happened between us? It’s not like I fucking choose to feel this way. If I had the chance I would’ve moved on the second we stopped being close, it sure as hell would’ve made my life 100% easier and I wouldn’t have spent all those days and nights crying my eyes out because of your stupid, selfish acts.

You knew me well, you knew how much I fall for a person, and you made sure that I fell for you, what did you expect? That I’d just forget everything? That I’d just forget the guy who I thought was my best friend and that he’d never leave? Sorry for being human and having a heart and also sorry for meaning what I used to say about how I feel about you. You can’t forgive me for not moving on quickly? I forgave you for making me feel like shit every single day for the past year, especially when you replaced me with the person I was mostly scared to be replaced with. It’s clear that you don’t care about me, you only care about yourself and how the quotes I put on Facebook are relatable to our situation.

Well BOOHOO, you’re not the one who is tormented by her own mind because she feels so alone and not good enough because of what happened. You know this hurts me, you know this very well, you CHOOSE to do this, no one is forcing you to do anything. You’re right, you’re not like the others, you’re surely the worst of them all, because at least when it was over with them, they just stopped talking to me, but you, haha, you get a sheer pleasure of knowing that you can mess with my mind without lifting a finger. You were the best person I had ever met, you were the first boy that I can admit to have been ‘in love’ with, and you were the best thing that happened to my life. But, you’re also the worst thing and the thing that still hurts most, and the thing that keeps me up at night. Take a few seconds of your life to actually consider how my heart is still broken and just how hard this is for me, thankyou.

1 Comment

  1. Jboo 4 years ago

    Interesting read.

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