I have been wanting to let you know how sorry I am for a really long time now I just didn’t know how I could tell you.

It has been almost 2 years and whoever said it gets easier lied…It has not gotten easier at all, I know most of the time it didn’t seem like the breakup bothered me or it didn’t seem like I missed you but I have missed you soo much…I have thought about you every day for the last almost 2 years I have tried everything to forget about you but once a song comes on the radio your back in my head, when I drive by I think of how much I miss our life at home, I miss little things like helping you farm and getting parts or running errands with you.

I want you to know how sorry I am about how everything went I wanted you to be the one, I just couldn’t take hearing about your exes and not being able to relate because you were my first everything, it was tearing me up inside I know I shouldn’t have let it bother me but I couldn’t help it. I knew the relationship was getting serious and I got scared of everything I haven’t experienced yet and that is why I backed out. I know you think I cheated but I promised you I would never cheat on you and I kept my promise, I am not a cheater and would never do that to someone. If I wouldn’t have found someone right away I would have came back and I knew I had to experience other things, you were also my first break up and I wasn’t ready to break up so I didn’t know how to handle it and everything got out of control…The saying you don’t know what had until its gone is so true. I am sorry for everything that happened and for all of the hurt I caused you and I know you will probably never read this but I really am sorry. I regret our breakup but I also don’t-I had the chance to mature a lot more and experience things that made me a stronger person and I am happy for that I just regret how it happened because I lost my best friend and will probably never be able to talk to you again. I wish I would have explained myself better when we broke up so you would have understood better and maybe things could have been better between us and maybe we would have a chance again. I wanted to tell you this 7 months after we broke up because I learned a lot but you had another girlfriend at the time and I didn’t want to show back up if you were over me and I didn’t want to interfere with your new love.

You have helped me through everything and I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you and I want to thank you so much for that I couldn’t have asked for a better friend.

I really hope you are enjoying your life and wish you nothing but the best. <3