i am sorry, I know that you have asked me countless times to move on from you and I promised not to bother you again but i really have to do this. i tried every ways to move on from you, i did everything i could to forget you, we have sorted this out but i think the only way i can let go of this is to write about it to you, pls allow me to do so. i dont know when you would it be when you read this letter but if you are reading this then bear with it for the one last time.
you told me that the reason why you wanted to break up was because the guilt from your previous relationship keeps haunting you, and you want to fight this anxiety yourself, you dont feel the excitement between us anymore , you dont know what to feel about me because you were lost in this relationship. i guess you didnt completely move on from her and i know our relationship was just for you to rebound back. Maybe it wasnt love at first, you didnt really fall in love with me ? maybe you fell for the concept of love, the feeling of capable to love and be loved again. all these have been on my thoughts for the past few weeks and tbh, i was upset with it and i have been dwelling in this pain.
but i know i cant do this forever so to make myself feel better, i decided to cherish the memories we made together and accept the fact that i cannot force you to love me. so i actually list down the reasons why i love you ( i dont want to be cheesy but fuck it hah)
1. you always stay up late just because i wanted to talk
2. you put up to my shit and shenanigans
3. you appreciate my puns and jokes, you even laughed at it haha
4. i love your love for spicy mcdeluxe
5. your enthusiasm about shoes and sneakers ! ( gosh i hope you got your ultra boost)
6.the fact that you wear specs
7. your size 10/11 feet
8. you are a good hugger ( and i know you are not the affectionate type)
9. you are always there to listen to me
10. the way you rub my head when i knocked myself
11. you have a dog
12.the fact that your dog, Lucky likes bread
13. you always bring me out for food
14. you are willing to travel all the way to my college because i want to see you
15. your baby beard
16. you allowing me to touch your white hair
17. you allowing me to be clingy
18. You calling me baby
19. you like to take topless snaps ?
20.your big hands ( and my small hands fit into it )
21. :B ( your fav emoji)
22.the patience you have when you explain things to me
23. your love for your family
24. your confidence( you rated yourself as a 12/10 kisser)
25. the way you squish my face
26. you never made me cry
27. the way you say ” i am cheesed!!”
28. the fact that you are taller than me ( it makes it easier for me to listen to your heartbeat)
29. you like your spine being tickled
30. most of all, you.
so if you ever felt fucked up, feeling worthless , read the list again because these are a part that you can never lose. i fell deep for you and i got really attached to you. but i understand that i have to let you go if i love you. i am grateful that i have met you and thank you for being my first love, for being by my side when i once had you. i have definitely grow from this so thank you for being a part of my life and letting me be part of yours.
you will always be the one i love.