I never…

I never…

I never…

LTME-postSo I’ve read some of the letters on this page. In the hopes that you might have written on here in the past.

By now I’m finding that incredibly doubtful. If anything the letter of others have showed me some important things.

I’ve read about guys abusing their girlfriend.
I never laid a finger on you.

I’ve read about guys yelling and shouting at their girlfriend.
I never raised my voice at you.

I’ve read about guys who called their girlfriend all kinds of derogatory terms (slut, whore, skank, etc..)
I never insulted you with any type of slur.

I’ve read about guys telling their girlfriend not to hang out with friends.
I never told you not to do that.

I’ve read about guys forcing their girlfriend to do things against their will.
I never forced you to do anything you didn’t want to do. I always asked.

I’ve read about guys making their girlfriend give up on her dreams.
I never did that. In fact I did the opposite. I encouraged you.

I’ve read about guys trying to get back at their girlfriend after the breakup
I never did anything of the sort. I won’t lie and say I never thought about it. Though I know I could never do such a thing.

I’ve read about guys who cheated on their girlfriend.
I never did that.

I’ve read about insecure guys who doubted the love their girlfriend gave them.
I never wanted to be like that.

I’ve read about jealous guys who wanted to know who their girlfriend was talking with on the phone.
I never wanted to be that guy. Yet I was.

I’ve read about guys who didn’t trust their girlfriend enough.
I never wanted to be that guy. Yet my past held me back in fully trusting you and your intentions.

I’ve read about girls who never spoke up when their boyfriends did something they didn’t like.
I never wanted you to do that. Towards the end it was clear to me that you had in fact done that.

I’ve read about guys who never showed their girlfriend any attention.
I never did that. In fact if I’m honest to myself I’m quite certain that sometimes I smothered you.

I’ve read about guys who never took their girlfriend anywhere.
I never did that. I took you out into the night sky, to have a night-pick-nick with candles, champagne and everything. How I changed the plan I had to sit in the moonlight at a specific location because you got afraid. We went on holidays together. We went biking together. Walked by the sea holding hands. Does any of that mean you had to stay? No, not in the slightest.

I’ve read about guys who dated someone else right after the relationship.
I never dated anyone since you. By now I’ve been single for longer than we even dated. Out of choice, because I know I have issues to resolve. Issues that do not need a repeat.

I’ve read about guys who never felt any guilt.
I never forgave myself for my lack of trust in you. And I’ve been guilt-stricken ever since.

Which is why I’m writing this letter. Because by now I have realized that.
I never knew how much I cared about you until you left.

For which I have blamed myself on and on and on, something;
I never should have done to myself. Which clear to me now.

I wish you the best in your career I know how important it was to you.
I never would have asked you to give that up.

Yet when you chose your dreams over us I must confess something died in me. You always told me I was part of those dreams. Rest assured that I have and will always want you to be happy and;

I never, ever, will forget the love you showed me.

Goodbye, your ex.


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