Today I got your message. Two hours after you sent it to your other girl, she always comes first. Probably because you’re afraid of me. You brought out an ugly side of me that even I was afraid of. She’s weaker, she kept going back. You loved that. You loved that you could manipulate her and use her. You couldn’t use me.
‘Im sorry for taking advantage of your feelings’
That’s what your message said. The only unique part about my message. It’s true…You did. I was the back up girl, although not knowingly. Although, never willingly. I wanted to tell you where to shove your apology but you don’t deserve even a nasty reply. You only deserve silence and loneliness. So here I am replying to you on a website, letting my thoughts and feelings flow and knowing you won’t be replying with exactly what I want to hear but what you don’t mean. What you never meant.
I hope you actually are sorry. That deep under all the cruel things you inflicted on us, you aren’t completely evil. I want to tell you I’m happy and with my help she will be too.
The second time we said goodbye you wished me good luck in my career but then told her you didn’t think my dream would come true.
Out of all the things you said about me, that was the harshest. The rest were lies. That was a punch in the chest. I had confided in you my truest passion and aspirations and you pretended to support me. It took all my efforts not to tell you that I have an interview for my dream job, in my dream city. My society- the one you made fun of- was nominated for 2 awards.
Yeah it’s fun to boast but I’m not giving you the satisfaction of knowing where I am now, who I am now. I don’t care what you are doing now but the fact you’re messaging me- nearly 3 months later- suggests a lot.
As you may be aware we are friends- me and her. She was in a dark place. One you put her in. One she had only barely dragged herself out of. I don’t know about any other girls in your life but I will do anything I can to make sure you don’t hurt her again. You’re messages fell on deaf ears. Tonight, I am preparing for a formal I am hosting and you will not enter my mind and me and my large group of friends celebrate life.
You’re a small blip in mine, I will forget your name and the way you made me feel. I will remember however, the way you made me feel about myself. The anger and the fact I never forgave you showed how much I respect myself. I am motivated by your insults, I am smug at your sadness and I laugh at your apology. Never a true word has came out of your lips. Those lips I will forget ever kissing.
Good bye forever your former best friend, former partner and now distant memory.